Why Bother!!!!

Ever had some of those days when you feel like WHY EVEN BOTHER!!! Well I have been having those days all week... Everyone is coming at me asking me question about my life and I am just to the point where I don't even know what to tell them cause I feel like Why Bother with it....

Now I know some may take that as I am saying I give up but some days the day just defeats you and you have to go to bed and just get up the next day and try all over again.... but right now I just want to go to bed and sleep for like a month and wake up and my life be totally different... I know that will not happen unless I do it myself but OMG I am freaking out... My stomach kills me every single day, I am just a total mess inside and I am trying to hide it from everyone I am close too because I don't want them to worry even more about me... I know they only worry cause I know they love me but they stress me out even more... I just need moments... Moments to scream, cuss, cry, be pissed off and just vent... 

But I am trying to please everyone and trying to say all the right things to everyone.... 

And I am feel is I am failing everyone.... And I am not saying or doing anything right....

Carley Mommy loves and Misses you so much!!!! The day I get to be with you in Heaven will be Heaven for me... 

Just why CAN'T I BE A MOMMY???????? Why does everything in my life have to be so HARD while others have it so easy.... People think I am a very strong person but I am falling apart inside and I feel as if I have no safety net, and no one to catch me when I fall.... 

Ugh!!!!!!! I wish I could just RUN FAR FAR FAR AWAY and when I returned my LIFE WOULD BE WONDERFUL AND HAPPY AND FILLED WITH MY BIGGEST WISH!!!!!

ME A MOMMY!!!!