Huh!!

Every day I try to get up and be positive on what the day will hold for me... But I have been on a emotional roller coaster... One minute I am happy, sad, crying, and mad.... I know that it has been almost 3 years since Carley left me to be with God but in my heart it still feels like yesterday... I just don't know what I can do to move on... 

All my friends have children but me... All my friends are talking about growing there family to even more children and I am so so so happy for them but all of them feel as if they can't talk about it with me... They all try and hide it and I am the last to find out about there new additions... 

Most friends don't want to talk to me about it... I know that it is hard for them to know how I feel but if they never ask me questions about her or ask me how I feel about talking about her how will they ever know how I feel... I don't want to push the topic on them and make them talk about her with me when I know in there hearts they DO NOT want to talk to me at all about her....

Every day I dream about what it would be like to hear her voice calling Mama to me in the morning... what it would be like to have her here and being with her, kissing her, holding her, chasing after her, doing all the things that mothers get to do... But the only problem is with me is I can only do those things in MY DREAMS...

I will never be able to do them here on Earth... I miss my babies oh so much...
Mommy Loves you My Angels In Heaven!!!!!