Saturday, December 12, 2009

Angel Baby #1

Well I am 27 years old. I will be 28 in a week or so. My story is sad but true, I am the mother of 3 angels in heaven.  This is the story about my 1st Angel.
I got pregnant in May 2008 without trying. I was still on birth control but I had been sick and on meds that caused my not to work. I was scared, shocked, upset, and worried. I knew women had gotten pregnant and went on to have normal pregnancies but my gut made me feel uneasy and scared. My husband was also the same way he really didn't want to talk about it and just acted as if I wasn't. I went for my 1st OB appt. and I had figured I was around 6 1/2 wks, but found out I was only 4 wks. So that took me be surprise I would letter find out how I came to be wrong. So my Dr said I will bring you back for another ultrasound in two weeks. Came back at 2wks and it took her almost 45 mins to find the baby and then she said she thought she saw a heart beat. But she wanted to bring me back in another 2wks for another ultrasound. Another 2wks and I am laying there with my a different Dr and he is joking and laughing cause I know him on another level due to my job. And he gets quiet, my mom had came with me b/c I am a only child and she wanted to see her grandbaby. He is looking and looking and not saying anything. I look at mom and started crying, freaking out and he asked for another Dr to step in. Sure enough that Dr confrimed that there was a baby but no heart beat. I was around 8 1/2 wks. They told me that they saw the yoke sac still present and to come back in one week and have my level checked and we would go from there. 
That was the LONGEST week of my life. I took off from work cause I couldn't see patients due to the fact I was a basketcase. Went back July 1, 2008 and sure enough my level had dropped from 22,000 to 6,000 which proved that my baby had died. My mom and I just stood there and cried. I called my husband and told me him the news. Asked him about doing the D&E and he said for me to do what was best for me. I chose to do the D&E and do it the next day. So on July 2, 2008 I had a D&E and went home.
When I got home from the procedure I was CRAZY. I was 26 yrs and had to get my mom to help me take a shower and get in my PJ's and settled. Then I had to call the one person I had kept in the Dark about my whole ordeal my best friend (more like my sister due to the fact I am a only child). I had kept her in the dark for a reason, she was also pregnant and she was one week ahead of me in due dates. I didn't want to get her upset and worried, she nor her baby needed that. So I called her after I got settled that night and we cried together.
I returned to work on July 7 and tried to just burry my feelings. I stuffed them I should say with cookies, bread, candy, and anything I could put in my mouth. I gained right much weight. I had some problems with my cycles and went to a new Dr that only lasted one appt and chose another Dr that I really liked and was able to help me. So I stayed there for my next pregnancy.