Monday, January 17, 2011


Today was another blue day in my blue world. I just have felt really alone today and missing my babies so much. I called up a friend and went over to her house since hubby had to work late. I spent 3 hours of just talking to her about all my feelings, my pains, my dreams, my hopes and how I feel like I have a HUGE BLACK CLOUD over me all the time.

I know that some people don't understand and don't know what to say to someone like me but sometimes it isn't what they say it is how well they can listen. Tonight I just needed a friend to listen to me. I don't have a lot of followers on this blog and don't really get a lot of feed back on here so sometimes I just need to talk to a human to get the feedback of the feeling that someone is listening to me, reading my thoughts something to make it feel like I am not alone.

My family and hubby are prolly all tried of hearing me talk (since all of them will say I have been talking since the day I was born) about the same things and I know that some friends are starting to feel that way too but I can't help it. These feelings that I have are the same EVERYDAY!! Some days they are not as bad as others. Today I guess the weather too had a play in it cold, gray, cloudy day. And I know that winter can make you depressed if you are stuck inside all the time. And the whole point that I don't really want to go any where and spend money that I really don't have to spend in the first place. But I think I am going to try and go out to lunch one day with my friend. Just get out of the house. Wednesday is my day to do that cause that is the Dr day (have to get my blood checked every Wednesday).

But we will just have to wait and see.


paula said...

i know what it feels like to "feel" all alone. if you would like some one to corrospond with regularly my email is i would love someone to talk with also, i have 5 angels.:-( btw i read your blog everytime you post, i am just not great at leaving a comment.

Holly said...

I think it is a good idea to get out once in a while. Being cooped up for a while doesn't help when you are dealing with emotions of loss. I'm glad you have a friend that you can talk to. Sadly, not many people are willing to sit and just listen to us.

paula said...

I wanted you to know that I've given you an award for your blog. Please stop by my blog to pick it up.